On the whole western beauty ideals thing.

I grew up in a predom white suburb, and most of the time, white people were not actively making fun of my Asian features. But from seeing mostly white kids at school, and watching TV with white kids as protagonists, it really made me view white as the standard, as the norm.

Being surrounded by so much whiteness made me other myself, to the point that I would be surprised every time I looked in a mirror or saw pictures of myself. 

And that’s really fucked up. 

Sometimes racism isn’t loud and abrasive. Sometimes it’s just an alluring hum in the background that compounds into something terrible. 

This is why people of color get angry when TV shows will be cast as all-white when they don’t have to be, or even whitewash characters who are PoC. This is why I get SO EXCITED when I see Asian actors in films and shows.

I try to actively seek out Asians in the media now and read about them and watch shows that have Asian people in it. It’s helped, but there will always be shreds of self-exotification inside me.