A(nonymous) - Submission

I’m Filipino, and my white boyfriend can sometimes be racist, although he claims not to be. When we started dating, I wasn’t as avidly against racism as I am now. Now, I try to correct him whenever he says something insensitive or dumb, but I never seem to win an argument because he’s just so fucking stubborn and will refuse to acknowledge so much of what I say.

Once, he informed me of a racial slur, then used it against me, and told me not to be offended. It went like this:

He told me of the term “buk buk” and said how it’s a slur originating from how Tagalog sounds to other people. Later that day, he asked me what “flower” is in Tagalog, and when I said “bulaklak,” he exclaimed, “Wow, it’s true! What are you, a chicken?”
I then told him to shut up.
He replied, “Oh don’t even ACT offended.”
I was ready to flip shit, and when I did, he threw the excuses of “It’s only offensive because you think it is” and “It’s alright because it’s based on fact” at me. I ended the conversation there.

I love him to death, but sometimes I just don’t know what to do with him.

Sometimes I am just so fed up with his racist logic, but at the same time, fed up trying to explain to him how it’s wrong. And recently, more often than not, I just completely dismiss his remarks to avoid frustration…