i was thinking about school and tears of rage appeared so i wrote a rant about it

we have debate paper outlines due monday so i have to research reasons for the opposition (my topic is whether we are living in a ‘post-racial’ society (the answer is a resounding NO)) and its hurting my heart and my brain to see that so many ignorant people honestly believe that yes, we are living in a post-racial society, as slavery has been abolished, we have a black president, and “attitudes across the nation are improving!!!”
honey i don’t know who you have been talking to, but a lack of slavery does not a equate a lack of racism. believing also that our black president is a sign of “progressive attitudes” overlooks and devalues the slurs and hatespeech thrown at him quite frequently. as for the “changing attitudes” belief, well, a little over a decade a mere 602 hate groups were being tracked across america. last year that figure was at 1018. 
i sit in a classroom, i turn on the radio, i walk down the street and hear white people “use the n word like they own it,” as i have heard it accurately described. my white teachers do nothing when they hear my white classmates laugh over “gooks” and “chinamen” and they do nothing when my white classmates make jokes about black people, asians, mexicans, and latin@s. nothing that i say makes them stop, they laugh off my concerns as “stupid liberal feminazi BS.” so i sit and i hide my rage and meanwhile a white kid puts his fingers to his eyes, pulls back and makes a “ching chong” sound, and my teachers do nothing. say nothing. some of my peers as well. my peers tell each other off while laughing at the racist jokes. the rebuffs are never serious, they just want a feeble defense just in case someone calls them on their laughter. (which no-one will.) even if i do say something i am turned into the enemy, i “can’t take a joke,” i need to “lighten up.” (whiten up?) they look at me like i ruined the fun.
there are these things too, that happen, and they’re called MICROINVALIDATIONS.
when asians are complimented for their good english or repeatedly asked where they are born, the effect is to negate their american heritage and to convey that they are perpetual foreigners. when blacks are told “i don’t see color/we are all human beings,” the effect is to negate their experiences as racial/cultural beings.
the above is taken from psychological research.
in pitch perfect, when the white main character’s roommate is asian, she asks her if she speaks english, and it’s supposed to be funny. yes, it is hilarious when you invalidate a person of color’s entire heritage and upbringing. it’s hilarious because well, all asians are foreigners right?
when i talk about racism with my white peers i am shouted over and ganged up on. some do not want to hear what i have to say, and therefore choose not to. someone once tried to tell me that calling me a stupid fucking gook is not racist, but adding “korean” to it is.
when i tell my white teachers that something my classmate is saying is making me feel uncomfortable because it is blatantly racist, they shrug and half-heartedly tell them off. they walk away and the classmate begins to laugh with his friends, quietly at first, over that teacher’s love for people of color. of course the way he says it is riddled with slurs. we sat in the library when he said that and i put my headphones on and turned them all the way up because i would rather hear white noise than another word that comes out of his mouth.

i am tired of the lack of response from my classmates and teachers to racism. i am tired of being attacked for explaining my factual point of view. i am tired of being told, by white people, that i do not know what racism is. i am tired of being told that the problem does not exist. i am tired of hearing slurs and racist stereotypes every single day that i sit in class. i am tired of being told that i do not have the right to be angry.

because i am angry. and i will stay angry.